Excited Delirium Book: Chapter 6 (Kite Resignation Letter)
Author’s Note: The following is Chapter 6 of the my online book "Excited Delirium". Please post comments. Please tell your friends about this story. If you’ve missed a chapter, please click here for Chapter 1 (Prelude) or here for the full index .
Mr. Kite always believed that it was important to quit before you got fired. Having been fired, many, many times, it caused problems. Not for morale or anything stupid like that, but because getting fired actually created significantly more paperwork than quitting. And more paperwork translated to a record that someone could track down one day and connect to him.
When he quit, he always liked to take things up a notch, be it with a simple disappearance or something a little more dynamic, but still juvenile, like blowing up the public toilets shortly before making a quick get away.
However, on most occasions, he kept it simple and forwarded a nice, clean resignation letter to his supervisor before becoming vapour. His favourite was the following:
My Dearest Reginald:
It is with heavy heard and teary eye that I, ____________________, compose this missive of ill tidings. I fear that due to the volatile circumstances of our times, I must break off the understanding that we currently share. Nay, argue not, for this is as it must be. The winds of fate have alerted me to the changes that must be accomplished, and though painful, have led me to believe that this step is necessary. Weep if you must; let the pain flow from your soul with cleansing tears. Go forth bravely through this darkest of hours, and please remember: time will lessen the burden of sorrow. I wish you the best and always will, and simply ask that you wish me good fortune on my new path.
Obediently yours,
________________________
Mr. Kite
(Note: "Excited Delirium" is a work of fiction. Any person, place or thing depicted in this work of fiction is also a work of fiction. Any relation of these subjects or characters to real locations, people or things are an unintentional coincidence.)
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Excited Delirium by Liam Young is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 Canada License .
Based on a work at www.exciteddelirium.ca .